alternate reality

Deal With It!

2009-06-30T21:41:00.002-04:00

I've officially abandoned this blog in preference for sabjimata.blogspot.com, but even there I am not posting much these days.

But since this blog gets fed to Planet Iskcon and the Sabjimata blog is not being fed since I changed the url recently, i am posting this link here for anyone interested in honesty on the path to Krishna.

A longtime friend of mine has written an excellent post at his blog, A Convenient Truth, complete with a warning for the squeemish. My blog carries no such warning. His original cartoon, which accompanies the post, appears below.

Enjoy!

Open Letter to BBT Art Calendar Peeps

2009-06-18T09:41:00.001-04:00

Dear BBT--

I know you are not a person, but an organization that publishes stuff. Nevertheless, please hear my plea.

Please make the BBT art calendar, particularly the Ekadasi/variant date thing, more user friendly.

I have blown too many Ekadasis because of my own user error in reading the calendar. Here's a suggestion. How about highlighting the Ekadasi day and the variant date? Or how about marking the variant date right on the two boxes instead of some calendar small print footnote which, in my advanced age, find difficult to read.

Sure, there are online resources for finding out the correct date, but that would mean I would have to go on the computer...and anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I am hardly on this thing, what with being such a busy mom and all.

Who really likes the variant date thing? Pretty much no one who is subject to it's rule. I'm not asking you to change the phase of the moon for me but just the calendar layout.

Sincerely,
Fastingthewrongday V. Dasi

Where I'm At

2009-06-13T19:58:00.003-04:00

I will be blogging @ sabjimata.blogspot.com from here on out.

Blue & Pink

2009-06-12T00:42:00.000-04:00

Jacksonville Ratha

2009-06-04T23:00:00.003-04:00

I just read Adi Kavi Prabhu's piece on improving safety in regards to future Ratha festivals. I appreciate his deep meditation on this and also appreciate the seva he and Kirtiraja Prabhu performed at the festival last Saturday since my kids and I came a little too close to receiving the mercy of Jagannatha via the wheel of his cart.

If I saw a spot to leave comments after Prabhu's article, I would have. But without any spot (that I could find) I decided to awaken my blog and use this space! I have a humble suggestion for the organizers of the Jacksonville Beach Ratha for next year--a suggestion which would both improve the safety of the participants and reduce the WTF look on the faces of all the beachgoers who were just chilling on their towel one minute, only to have to make a dash to grab their stuff while a band of they-don't-even-know-whats comes parading by banging on drums and ringing bells (whew, that was one long sentence!).

So here it is. My big idea...which I realize I should probably keep to myself but if I was that kind of girl I wouldn't have a blog. Okay. So about a half hour before the parade, some folks can head out along the path, passing out flyers/invitations, giving beachgoers a heads up as to what's coming their way. This way the onlookers get some warning and maybe even a little bit of a clue as to what's going on.

I know the idea of Jagannatha Ratha Yatra is blissful, especially when it takes place on the beach and the wheels of the cart and the feet of the devotees are bathed in ocean water. Nectarean, as the really fired up would say. But me, well...somehow that salve of love has been wiped clean from my eyes and I am having a really hard time these days getting them all muddled up with bhakti again. My vision is way more ordinary and material. And while the average blissed out devotee may not have noticed that a lot of the onlookers were kind of pissed off that their day at the beach was interrupted by god only knows what ;) I sure as heck did. And hence, my suggestion. A shout out to Lord Jagannatha. A heads up to the people maxin' and relaxin' on Jacksonville Beach. And then some space on the side of the cart so people (like myself) can move over instead of forward (does anyone understand the words "jeldi" and "agay"??) if the threat of getting smooshed becomes imminent.

Okay. I'll go back to my hole now...

Too. Tired. To. Post. Too. Much. Life. To. Live.

2009-03-14T16:37:00.002-04:00

Gaura Purnim. Alachua. Very Good. Gurkula. Kids. Videos. Singing. Nice.

Girls from Mother Tapasvini's School

Short Video Bhakti Bhavan

Little Bit Longer But Still Short Video Bhakti Bhavan

Zombie Butler Candy Bowl

2009-02-08T16:46:00.002-05:00

Another devotional blog recommendation: Ekendra de Planet Cow and the Outer Universes.

I seriously recommend his writing. He is so funny he threw me into labor a week and a half early on my first pregnancy. Now that's funny!

Kickin' It Old School on Nityananda's Appearance Day

2009-02-07T12:12:00.003-05:00

This morning the Bhaktivedanta Academy Choir performed an original song written by Mother Mrgaksi, founder of The Little Vaisnavas. Performing in the choir were three of Mrgaksi's grandchildren. The kids did a great job. I have no idea if my own little Vaisnavas understood what the heck they were singing, but they looked cute and happy performing.

Jaya Nitai!

Watch the Video!!!!!

Part One

Part Two

Highly Recommended

2009-01-29T19:23:00.003-05:00

Jayadeva Das, reporting for Mangala Aroti.

Although it seems he has no interest in a blog feed to Planet Iskcon, there is nothing stopping me from giving a shout out to Jayadeva's blog: A or The (I Don't Remember) Convenient Truth.

Jayadeva and I were former inmates at Sri Gita Nagari Dhama way back before the end of the world happened in 2000. Whew, glad we made it through the apocalypse. When not blogging or thinking about Lord Nityananda, Jayadeva can be found in New Jersey, going to art school, working his j-o-b and being the best darndest step-dad this side of the Raritan River.

His blog is g-o-o-d. Hope you check it out.

(Ooops! And don't forget to check out his little missus' blog...but just don't leave any mean comments about her dog, okay? It's spirit soul, too!)

Gopi Bhava

2009-01-28T20:15:00.004-05:00

Like all little girls raised in the Vaisnava tradition, Madhumati loves acting like a gopi. She is always singing Jaya Radha Madhava, acting out the song with mudras she picked up in preschool. It is, like most things Madhumati, super cute.

Here she is chanting the famous bhajan of Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur. To be honest, it was like the thousandth time in a row she was doing it so I think, by the time I decided to pick up the camera, that she started to loose a little steam. Okay, a lot. Honestly, she used to know all the words pakka but I think now that she is concentrating on the complex assortment of hand gestures, she has definitely lost some points for accuracy.

Jaya Radha Madhava, The "Only a Mother Could Love" Version

Alright Already

2009-01-27T21:25:00.002-05:00

So I set my blogs to invitation only...me being the only reader invited. Maybe you already know.

But here we are again. I am taking (I think) a blog vacation for now. I am a bit overwhelmed by the amount of email, etc. that the blogs generate.

And, well, I need my space.

But since taking blogs offline generated even more email...including a worrisome plea by my mother-in-law requesting that I don't say bad things about her on the blog behind her 'uninvited' back...I decided to return.

At least in my blog form.

XO D

Wide Open Compassion

2009-01-24T06:08:00.003-05:00

My family is headed out this morning to Tampa to visit with the in-laws visiting from DC, but in response to my porn posts, I just wanted to quickly add this link for an NPR story I heard a while back about a chaplain who ministered to men about to be executed in Texas. The movie, which I have not seen, is called At the Death House Door. To read more about it, or to hear Terry Gross's interview with Revered Carol Pickett,click this link.

The interview is very compelling and complicated and even haunting.

I have no time to get deep about it. Listen and feel. Soul to soul. Lifetime through lifetime.

MORE PORN!!!!!

2009-01-22T19:58:00.003-05:00

So within a short amount of time I have received a few emails from devotees asking who I am referring to and urging me to "alert the temple management."

Here's my response.

I did not write my earlier post as a threat to lynch, blackmail or out any devotee. Seriously, I have compassion for all devotees--there are so many personal struggles which make our lives so difficult. Neither above or beyond these sorts of things, I am not trying to persecute anyone.

Sure, I find porn offensive and yucky and bleah. And totally think the library is, perhaps, the most inappropriate place for it. But nevertheless, I am not going to report anyone to "authorities." We are adults and, to be honest, I don't think it is appropriate for people to be micro-managed. And besides, I figure we all answer to a higher authority.

From my knowledge of addictions and vices, people don't normally indulge in these sort of things without great shame and remorse.

I am confident that, as adults, we are trying to work on ourselves. Sometimes compulsions may get the best of us and we may not act soberly. Or maybe we just don't think anyone, you know, notices.

My previous post was written in the spirit of being grossed out, but also to let devotees know that the "privacy screens" are not that private. It is not so difficult to see what you are looking at, especially if it is a full color naked woman.

Also, I think it is a good idea to get devotees talking about the realities of life. In this day of unlimited internet access, porn is one of those realities. As the mother of a son (and daughter!) I wonder how I am going to allow my children to become computer literate without exposing them to confusing and way too graphic images.

Just the other day, when doing a Google image search for "Homer Simpson" for my other blog, there in the mix of all the Homer pics was some really nasty stuff. My kids were just a few feet away. Thankfully they didn't see anything because I have no idea how I would have explained it to a five year old and 3 1/2 year old.

Anyway, the internet is there. Porn is there. People are tempted. These are the problems of everyone, even those desiring to become God conscious.

Again, I didn't write my earlier post to start a witch hunt. Dialogue was more what I was going for. The problem is probably so widespread that to single one person out just doesn't make sense.

Love to all,

Devadeva

PORN!!!!!!!

2009-01-22T16:26:00.002-05:00

Dear Devotees--

If you live in Alachua and like to look at internet porn while visiting the Alachua Library and think that no one can see what you are looking at because of the "privacy screens" (screens mounted below keyboard level), please know.... I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT!

And no, I am not trying *that* hard, although I have to admit that when I see a sikha at a computer carrel I do stand on my tippy toes just a little since I'm not even five foot two.

So this is just to say, please don't look at internet porn at the library. It's bad public relations, I don't want my kids to see that stuff as we are walking from the bathroom to the checkout and if I see you checking out porn at the very public library, next time you act like a super important, serious pakka devotee and can't tell me the time of the abhishek because you are chanting japa and how dare I interrupt you, I might just tell you that I saw you looking at internet porn at the library.

Your servant,

Devadeva

Call Me!

2009-01-22T13:30:00.001-05:00

I love you.

Pillow Talk

2009-01-11T07:18:00.004-05:00

I know many of you are experts on all sorts of things. Herbs, magnets, internal cleanses, baskets, cell phones, wood stoves, cobb houses, yoga, cooking, cows, etc....so I am posting this to see if someone--anyone--out there has already researched this.

I need a good pillow.

I prefer something natural and, of course, good for my back.

Sleeping is difficult for me because my back aches the whole night. I basically feel like it is kind of broken/weak. I suppose I need to improve my "core strength" but first I would like a good pillow.

Here's my sleep situation--I sleep on an extra-firm mattress and prefer sleeping on my back but do try lying on my side at times because my back just hurts. The achiness is in the middle of my back. I use one pillow but have recently tried using two but that only made my back hurt in a different spot.

What should I go for? Buckwheat hulls, memory foam, mustard seeds, natural wool, a dictionary? If it will make me feel better, I am willing to try it!

Thanking you in advance...XO D

My Better Half

2009-01-07T08:31:00.005-05:00

I just read a posting that Jagat-pati Prabhu suffered a stroke yesterday and is hospitalized.

Jagat-pati and I sat in on the same initiation yajna. Our names kind of go together--mine being the first half and his being the second half of the last line of a Gita sloka. (That initiation was like reading through the index of Bhagavad Gita.)

Jagat-pati is one of those far out devotees who requires very little and gives all that he does have to Krishna. I haven't been in touch with him for a few years, but last time I checked, he was living in the boiler room of the Brooklyn temple.

He is the kind of devotee who would chastise you for putting your feet on the bottom rung of another chair while sitting. But his chastisements are more his way of sharing what he has learned as a devotee rather than a way to put someone down. Jagat-pati is a talker. He has a lot to say and it always relates back to his guru, Srila Prabhupada (hence the chair chastisement) or Krishna. Always.

I hope that Jagat-pati can continue serving in the association of the devotees and that I get another opportunity for him to run my ear off about the mercy of our spiritual master. He is a regular fixture at the Brooklyn temple and I pray that Radha-Govinda continue showering Their mercy upon him.

BG 10.15

svayam evātmanātmānaḿ

vettha tvaḿ purusottama

bhūta-bhāvana bhūteśa

deva-deva jagat-pate

TRANSLATION

Indeed, You alone know Yourself by Your own internal potency, O Supreme Person, origin of all, Lord of all beings, God of gods, Lord of the universe!

PURPORT

The Supreme Lord, Krsna, can be known by persons who are in a relationship with Him through the discharge of devotional service, like Arjuna and his followers. Persons of demonic or atheistic mentality cannot know Krsna. Mental speculation that leads one away from the Supreme Lord is a serious sin, and one who does not know Krsna should not try to comment on Bhagavad-gītā. Bhagavad-gītā is the statement of Krsna, and since it is the science of Krsna, it should be understood from Krsna as Arjuna understood it. It should not be received from atheistic persons.

As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (1.2.11):

vadanti tat tattva-vidas
tattvaḿ yaj jñānam advayam
brahmeti paramātmeti
bhagavān iti śabdyate

The Supreme Truth is realized in three aspects: as impersonal Brahman, localized Paramātmā and at last as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. So at the last stage of understanding the Absolute Truth, one comes to the Supreme Personality of Godhead. A common man or even a liberated man who has realized impersonal Brahman or localized Paramātmā may not understand God's personality. Such men, therefore, may endeavor to understand the Supreme Person from the verses of Bhagavad-gītā, which are being spoken by this person, Krsna. Sometimes the impersonalists accept Krsna as Bhagavān, or they accept His authority. Yet many liberated persons cannot understand Krsna as Purusottama, the Supreme Person. Therefore Arjuna addresses Him as Purusottama. Yet one still may not understand that Krsna is the father of all living entities. Therefore Arjuna addresses Him as Bhūta-bhāvana. And if one comes to know Him as the father of all the living entities, still one may not know Him as the supreme controller; therefore He is addressed here as Bhūteśa, the supreme controller of everyone. And even if one knows Krsna as the supreme controller of all living entities, still one may not know that He is the origin of all the demigods; therefore He is addressed herein as Devadeva, the worshipful God of all demigods. And even if one knows Him as the worshipful God of all demigods, one may not know that He is the supreme proprietor of everything; therefore He is addressed as Jagatpati. Thus the truth about Krsna is established in this verse by the realization of Arjuna, and we should follow in the footsteps of Arjuna to understand Krsna as He is.

34 Years Closer to Death

2009-01-06T15:58:00.010-05:00

The only thing certain at the time of birth is death. What comes in between is really up for grabs. While many devotees choose not to celebrate their birthday I have, since joining, made it a point to not let the day go by unmarked.

Since my first year in the temple, I began cooking for the devotees on my birthday. And while that probably doesn't seem that surprising now--since it seems like I am always cooking something--at the time I was just a floor mopper and toilet scrubber. My cooking experience was limited to microwaving vegetarian meals for myself while living at my folks' house.

I still remember that first birthday at Towaco. I cooked stuffed shells, bread rolls, steamed broccoli and prepared a salad for the devotees. At that time there was no question of offering the preps on the altar to Sri Sri Gaura Nitai since I wasn't even initiated. I cooked in the kitchen and then offered everything to Prabhupada on a makeshift altar above the Deity sink.

All of us young devotees--maybe 25 in all--attended the evening aroti lead by Mahamuni (HH RVSD) and as a special gift to me Muni Prabhu chanted a tune that HH Bhakti-tirtha Swami would often chant. Considering how at the time Muni and I had a sort of adversarial relationship, it was pretty darn sweet of him.

After aroti we headed to the prasadam hall where I served out the birthday meal. Tomato sauce, cheese and pasta is always a surefire hit, especially with devotees in bodies younger than 30 without any digestive problems. And steamed broccoli and salad seemed, in those Gujarati prasad abundant days, like an exotic luxury. Everyone was happy and I was instantly hooked. Serving the devotees on one's birthday is the most pleasurable way to enjoy in the material world.

And today was no different.

I cooked a pretty solid menu:

khandvi

dahi bada

tamarind chutney

sak/bhaigun/khala chana sabji with fresh tomato

bhatura

blackberry shrikand

cupcakes

Because of some unexpected events after school the previous day, I got started cooking a little late. Before cooking I did a maha-cleanup of my upstairs kitchen which took me until 11 pm to complete. One hour before midnite the cooking began. Honestly, I didn't plan on starting this late. But in order to get it all done in time for getting the preps on the Lord's offering, there really was no choice on the matter. I had to do it all by 6:30 because once I dropped the offfering at the temple, I had to get the kids ready for school.

I cannot even begin to explain how warmly the devotees received my offering. When I dropped stuff off at the kitchen, Mother Laksmi was so excited about the Lord's breakfast. Me too! I don't really get a chance for cooking for the Deities, other than Their kheer, and I was really relishing the opportunity, which of course, was available to me through the mercy of the devotees. Thank you, Mother Mukhya.

After class my husband and I headed over to help serve out; Saksi Gopal and Kishor were already there getting things going. Right away I knew we were going to run short of cupcakes. Individual servings of things are always a bit sketchy. Note to self: 48 cupcakes is not enough!

Anyway, I could go on and on but let me cut it short because who is really going to read this anyway? In summary, service to the devotees is the topmost. I love cooking for the devotees. So much mercy available. The goal of life is Vaisnava seva. I don't mind taking birth again as long as I am in such good company. And can cook for the devotees.

And as one final point--it probably should have been the first--I want to thank my diksa guru, HH Bhakti Tirtha Swami--for being an example of service to the devotees. Because of my karma and conditioning, I was limited in what I learned from him. But from the very beginning of my spiritual life, I was able to identify this as the most important lesson.

If only every day was my birthday!

Because the morning was so hectic, I didn't get a pic of the preps. Here are some shots from after the serve out.

Saksi getting Babu (my husband/Madhava Pandit) a plate of what's left...a little khandvi and dahi bada.

Thanks, Prabhus!

The cupcakes were super cute, colored with blackberry juice. This was one of the few that had not been eaten by the time I was done serving. Apparently most devotees went for the dessert first.

"Honoring"

Gopal is so cute. Just thought I would get a shot of him.

Happy Devotees = Happy Birthday

Sweet Walli Malati Prabhu with one of her cupcakes.

Thank you, devotees of New Raman Reti, for making my birthday super fun and fulfilling and allowing me the opportunity to start my 35th year off right. Hopefully we can do it again next year.

SB 11.7.20

2009-01-05T09:28:00.002-05:00

“An intelligent person, expert in perceiving the world around him and in applying sound logic, can achieve real benefit through his own intelligence. Thus sometimes one acts as his own instructing spiritual master.”

Srila Prabhupada's Purport:

As illustrated in this chapter by the conversation between King Yadu and the avadhūta, a sensitive, reasonable person can acquire real knowledge and happiness simply by carefully observing the world around him. By observing the happiness and distress of other living entities, one can understand what is beneficial and what is destructive.

Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī states in this connection, gurv-anusaraṇe pravartaka ity arthaḥ: the knowledge acquired by one's own perception and intelligence leads one to appreciate the value of the representative of Lord Kṛṣṇa. The word śreyas in this verse indicates that one can advance in life through one's own intelligence. By good association one should gradually come to understand one's eternal position as servant of Kṛṣṇa, and then one becomes very eager to live in the company of other enlightened persons. Birds of a feather flock together. The symptom of an enlightened servant of Kṛṣṇa is that he is eager for the company of other such great souls. Thus by one's sensitive and rational observation of this material world, one should come to appreciate the value of spiritual life in the association of the devotees.

Look Who's Chanting

2009-01-03T20:18:00.004-05:00

st. augustine, florida

This post is inspired by my friends, Laghima-siddhi dasi and Kalpa-vrksa das. They coined "Look Who's Chanting" when they posted a bunch of pics from their recent visit to the Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum. A blog may be forthcoming.

Bowl Not Bol

2009-01-02T23:12:00.002-05:00

Tonite the family and I went bowling.

The last time I went bowling was a few years back. It was for a child's birthday party in New Jersey and I wore a sari and sindhur. My how the times sure do change. Neither my husband nor myself ever fancied ourselves bowlers, but when we got the invitation to get out and bowl we were into it just for the opportunity of leaving the house and seeing other people on a social level.

How do I have time for all this bloggy stuff anyway? That is what people often ask me. I have time for it because I am basically always home. I go bhoga shopping some, to the temple some and the occasional jaunt to Ross Dress For Less, but other than that I am mostly home...a self imposed shut in. So anyone who may read one of my blogs and think I am having oh so much fun in Alachua--well, think again. It must just be the trick of some kind of literary device.

But tonite we actually had fun. Kind of unexpectedly. The bowling alley itself was a bit freaky. Not the kind of place we usually take our kids to (or ourselves for that matter), but it seemed to work out fine. They really enjoyed the nite out way past their bedtime and I think Venumadhava remembered bowling from Madhavi and Narayan's birthday party a few years back. And me...well I totally get affected by the modes so I tend to have a good time when the lights are dim and the musics loud and the beer is flowing. It wasn't flowing at our lane, but you get the gist of the environment. High class.

Bowling shoes were a big issue for me and Salagram. Most everyone else didn't have a problem with them. But hey...that's so gross--materially and spiritually. So we bowled without the bowling-alley issued footwear and ran into no problems whatsoever.

Krpamoya Prabhu and family were visiting from New V and he and my husband had a pretty spiritual conversation about the game. Prabhu decided that the pins represent the 10 offenses to be avoided when chanting the holy name. My husband came up with the idea that the ball represents guru's mercy. These guys were so on it. Watch out, Bagger Vance!

And yes, I have turned into that totally annoying person with the video camera. But at this point, people still find me slightly amusing if not a teeny bit cute. I promise I will cut back. Really I do.

But in the meantime, I have these videos. And admittedly, they are rather weak. But whatever, my mom will like them.

Bowl Not Bol
I Bowl Without the Shoes

Oat Water

2008-12-31T12:54:00.002-05:00

Over on my cooking yesterday I posted about gruel, referencing the famous New Vrindavan Oat Water.

Ahhh, the memories. Not for me but for some longtime New V residents. While the stories I've heard about the oat water never sounded so yummy (and usually included phrases like, "You were lucky if you got a raisin!"), Ghosh and Soma Prabhus have different memories. And they were even gracious enough to share recipes. In quantity!

And there was no mention that the oats used were from animal feed sacks as I heard. Just see how important prajalpa niyamagraha is.

Okay...so here are the comments...for the pleasure of the Vaisnavas. May your new year be filled with devotion and oat water!

Madhava Gosh said...
"just oatwater" ?

Apparently you have never had real oatwater.

It happens to be the one thing I do know how to cook, having been the one who first made it and taught the regular cooks how to do it.

Kirtanananda told me how to do it so I did and introduced it to the other devotees.

About half the normal amount of oats to water, it was cooked for 1-2 hours at a simmer until the oats lose their form and become one with the water, creamy. A few raisins added later but soon enough that they plump up. Some ginger and a bit of salt, and a tablespoon of ghee per gallon.

"Oat water" was a bad marketing choice for a name, oat broth or cream of oats would have conveyed the idea better.

Oat water was great, not an austerity, when taken hot.

December 30, 2008 11:41 PM

Soma said...
ahhh... oatwater, it is my favorite breakfast. I would eat it everyday if i could. I have such warm memories of it. We rarely ate oat water by itself. It was used like gravy on the rice. And it was an unbelievable improvement from the previous fare. it was one part of the day that we all looked forward to. Personally i didn't like the raisins or dates in the oatwater. but because they would sink to the bottom i could just scoop it off the top and miss the raisins and dates.
anyway, i cooked the oat water for a few months in 1985. i still have the recipe that Amburisha prabhu wrote on a scrap of paper for me.
here it is;
14 gal. water
1 overflowing gal. of oats
3/4 cup of salt
2 cup rasin or dates
ginger and gee impurites if any.

(for the rice)
4 1/2 gal. rice
6 gal water(slightly less)
2 cups salt.
gee impurities if any

that's the historical recipe from 1985.

Going YouTube Crazy!!!

2008-12-31T12:00:00.006-05:00

Just in time for the New Year I have figured out how to upload video to YouTube. Whoopee! This is a big moment in my life.

Unfortunately I don't have much worth sharing just yet, but the Holy Name is always a safe bet.

Here are some quick clips taken pretty soon after we moved to Alachua. My friend Gopi, who moved here from North Carolina just a couple of days after we did, as well as Premananda Gour Prabhu and his wife Mayapur Malini are all chanting away along with my family. Fun fun fun. Premananda and Mayapur left for India shortly after we moved here and have been there ever since. They are very exuberant devotees.

Okay so here is the rip roaring kirtan ;)

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

As you can see from the video, Premananda Prabhu is great at engaging the children, whom he truly loves. This is also evident from seeing his own kids, Bali and Kish, in kirtan.

Gopi (Gopiparandhana Dasi) chants super sweetly. She went to gurukula in Guyana an now her daughter attends the gurukula in Alachua.

Happy New Year to all..hoping to develop taste for the Holy Name...sweeter than....money!

"Mata, Look at My Butter. I'm Lalita Sakhi."

2008-12-27T12:16:00.001-05:00

My favorite gopi, back from the forest collecting honey. Okay, that's what Madhumati does. But this is Lalita and she just churned some pink butter.

The Day After

2008-12-27T12:00:00.003-05:00

Blue skies, white clouds, Krishna and Balarama following the cows over on Govardhana where the cows play....

Christmas was pretty non-monumental for us. But the day after marked our first trip to St. Augustine.

I enjoy the beach but not in the traditional sense. I am not an ocean swimmer nor am I into exposing my body to the sun--or anyone else for that matter. But since we do now live in Florida, I am open to visiting the beach often. The warmth of the sun, the ocean air and the soothing sound of the waves don't take much effort to enjoy.

And the kids thoroughly love it. We never took them to the beach before moving to Florida simply because we didn't do much stuff like that. The beach always required some effort (meaning driving) and since there wasn't going to be any devotees there, I never thought it was worth the effort.

Now I am realizing that childhood is kind of a long process and we need to fill the time with something. St. Augustine was absolutely beautiful. The temperature was in the mid-eighties and the sky was nice and blue. The kids went into the ocean with my husband and I headed up the sand castle building. All in all, a day full of mode of goodness fun. Can't wait to go back.

On the way back home my husband and I agreed that Florida surpasses its reputation. Eighty five degrees at the beach sure beats twenty degrees with snow on the ground. In this way, I don't miss Gita Nagari.

Now if only my friends would come visit. Gopa, I'm keeping the waffle iron warm for you!

Dwarka Palace construction crew.

This was only half way through construction. We were all too sand covered at the end to snap pics. Madhuati decorated the palace with shells and Venumadhava hoisted a flag made from a gull feather.

These guys checked out the ocean and decided 56 degrees was not too cold to swim in.

Me soaking up the rays in my string bikini.

Vaisnava Body Building Worked for Me!

2008-12-23T12:36:00.001-05:00

Another Reason I Miss Gita Nagari

2008-12-21T19:47:00.002-05:00

Gita Nagari is close to New Jersey. And in New Jersey, this is going on:

Camellias for God

2008-12-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

Personalized Plates

2008-12-19T15:51:00.002-05:00

We finally registered our cars in Alachua. We had a choice of plates that read on the bottom "Alachua," "Orange" or "Sunshine State." Of course, we chose Alachua. Representin'.

But oh my was I super happy when we got the plates. My car is M00 6NY and my husband's is M00 7NY.

MOO!!!!! That's as good as "HARI BOL" in my book. and the 6NY and 7NY just makes me think of Prabhupada in New York in the 60's and 70's. You know...where it all began!

MOO!!!

Thank you, Krishna, for spiritualizing the mundane. Everything emanates from you and I see your love for such a small jiva as myself in such tiny sweet gestures.

MOO!!! MOO!!! MOO!!!

Remembering My Good Fortune

2008-12-15T19:34:00.003-05:00

This morning's class was given by Srutakirti Prabhu and was super sweet. I haven not heard prabhu speak since the time he came to "Gregg and Kristen's" in NJ for a home program in 1997. Of course, he spoke about Srila Prabhupada and his words were totally captivating.

His stories were humorous, poignant and, above all, humble. Srutakirti Prabhu's mood is absolute humility. Affable and soft spoken with a wide grin, I would imagine that anyone meeting him would find him immediately likable. He is, in a word, charming.

But his charm is completely an extension of his humility. When hearing him speak of Srila Prabhupada's glories or his own service to Srila Prabhupada, there is no question that Srutakirti Prabhu is aware of his great fortune. And when he speaks he really is sharing that fortune with all of us.

Because it is ours just as much as it is his.

Of course, I am not at that level of realization. If I was I would actually do something for Prabhupada. But in the meantime, it is nice to meditate on the fact that this initiation into the Brahma Madhva Gaudiya Sampradaya is more than just some ritual I sat in on almost 11 years ago; it is my good fortune.

Walkable Alachua

2008-12-14T09:31:00.006-05:00

Yesterday morning I awoke feeling morose; I really missed Gita Nagari. Of course, the day before I did receive an email that the schools were closed in State College due to snow--snow being something I generally don't miss about Gita Nagari. But the thought of walking out my back door and looking at the undulating snow somehow made my heart melt for our old life.

I miss the radiant heat of my wood stove. Sure, the cold days here are about 55 degrees, but we have central heat and I cannot seem to stay warm...especially when the system is cooling off and blowing cold air. I miss the snow, knowing that when it is all melted and spring steps forward, snow drops and crocuses will push their way through the rich earth and the grass will reclaim its lush verdant glory. The old maples will loom even larger once their leaves appear and shade will be available any time of day in our yard at our house--which is still technically ours despite finally getting a renter.

Here we have pine trees. Need I say more?

But later that day I was reminded what I really like about Alachua (besides the fact that when you go to the temple there are actually devotees there!). I like, no no, *love* the location of our house. Although it is about an 8 minute drive to the temple, everything else is *WALKABLE*! Coming from Gita Nagari where a trip to the grocery store was a major ordeal, this is a biggie.

I can walk to two grocery stores, CVS, the post office, the library, the rec center, the dentist and more.

Yesterday was the Alachua Christmas parade and and the devotees were in it. Since we live just a few blocks back from Main Street, both the starting point and ending point were walkable for us. The parade was a lot of fun. We don't normally get to go on harinama because they are usually centered around UF games, which involve a lot of drunk people--not something I want los ninos around. Adi Karta Prabhu led an awesome kirtan and everyone seemed happy to see the devotees. Kalya-pani Prabhu led the procession walking on stilts. He is very theatrical. And the kids got to ride on a cart tossing candy canes out to the crowd of onlookers.

After the parade we *walked* over to the library to see a performance by Ani's dance school. Three classes performed (4 dances, I think). My daughter was absolutely captivated by the performance. Before the final dance, Ani called all the little ones to come up and be an animal in the forest of Vrindavan.

Madhumati decided she was a cow and Sita taught her the appropriate mudra. I coaxed Venumadhava to go up (no boys were volunteering) and be the token lion. Ani very enthusiastically taught him the lion mudra but it kind of fell flat with my son. Instead of replicating the mudra, he came and sat down.

After everyone learned their part, Ani and the older girls "set the scene," becoming tamal and mango trees, the Yamuna river and the cooling breeze of Vrindavan. Then all the animals were called and the little girlies did their best to replicate their mudras on their own.

My husband really enjoyed Ani's serious and sweet mood and the dedication of the dancers. He is looking forward to Madhumati's coordination increasing so that she can become one of Krishna's dancing girls.

After the library, we *walked* back to Main Street for some ice cream at the sweet shop. We discovered this place on the night of the town Christmas tree lighting and I have to say, am very excited about and thankful for its existence. Although I generally dislike ice cream, I will happily go out for a scoop in order to add a little normalcy to my life.

When we finished up with our ice cream, we *walked* over to my husband's work Christmas party, which was held at a hall behind the police station. His boss lives in our neighborhood, just a few houses down, so even though my husband works in Gainesville, the party was held in walkable Alachua.

We only popped in there for about 10 minutes and then headed home after a long afternoon of being out and about town.

In the evening I drove over to the temple. But still, I don't mind not living walkable distance to it. At Gita Nagari we lived a mile from the temple--a little far for a quick jaunt but still walkable. But because the only thing between us and the temple were corn fields, the kids often got bored along the way (they are not natural born farm kids).

So although our land is more sand than soil and filled with enough pine trees to supply an Ikea factory, I am digging the fact that we can take a walk and actually go somewhere.

In the morning the kids went to a classmate's birthday party, which is where they scored the sunglasses and rings Venumadhava is modeling. Here we are...walking from our house to the parade.

Madhumati on the back of the truck wearing her Santa hat. Well, hers for the parade.

Ekadasi and I were the only ones at the harinam representing "Bhakti Tirtha Swami's Dancing Girls." As you can see from my wrinkles and Ekadasi's roots, we aren't really girls anymore. But we can still bust a move...kirtan party animals!!!

Adi-karta Prabhu warming up the crowd.

Cute!

Have fun without us, kids!

Don't you have Bharat Natyam performances at your local library?

Sita teaching Madhumati how to be a cow without mooing.

Ani teaching Venumadhava how to be a lion.

Just like at your local ice cream shop, right?

My happy kids. Black walnut and mint chocolate chip with rainbow sprinkles.

Prainlines and cream and black walnut for two.

We Are All Loving...

2008-12-12T19:57:00.002-05:00

...the newly primed walls. Thank you, Babu!!

Distributing 24 Hr. Kirtan DVD for 10 Bucks Only!

2008-12-10T07:19:00.003-05:00

This is a whole lot of kirtan rasa at a super mellow price!!! A full $2.99 cheaper than what you can get it for at Krishna.com...and they're not even bootlegs!!!!

I am distributing them for the organizers of 24 hr. kirtan. All monies go back to 24 hr. kirtan.

Bring your 10 bucks to the feast this Sunday to get a copy or email me at devamirel@gmail.com.

Only 10 bucks! Wooo-hooo.

Madhumati's Big Tendu

2008-11-28T16:47:00.003-05:00

My daughter was taking ballet on Tuesdays after school with Prtha. Most of the girls in the Bhakti Bhavana class participated. This past Tuesday was the last class and many of the parents came to observe the grand performance, which wasn't really a performance in the traditional sense, but we got to see our daughters' dance skill on display nonetheless.

Prtha had the girls go around in a circle and say what their favorite ballet move was as well as demonstrate it. There was a lot of shyness and a lot of acting like animals--an exercise Prtha had the girls perform regularly during the class.

When it came time for Madhumati's favorite, she very cutely said, "Uhhh...a tendu." Madhumati is very tiny and hearing her say a so very French ballet term was, uhhh....adorable. And yes, she did manage to extend her leg and point her toe.

I was sad that the class ended. Prtha is wonderful with the kids and Madhumati loves her. Prtha even baked peanut butter cookies for the last day of class and distributed them to all the kiddies. Thanks, Prtha!

Strrrrretch. Madhumati was one of the few girlies without ballerina clothes. Next year, Sweetie, I promise.

Madhugoofy

"Good toes."

Harini and Krsnaya....not twins, but close.

It was difficult getting a shot of the girls with Prtha without having Prtha's head totally chopped off. At 5' 11" she towers above the girls; literally giving them someone to look up to. At 5' 2," I also look up to Prtha!

I Miss GN AND NJ!!!

2008-11-22T21:18:00.001-05:00

This picture, which I lifted from Laghima's Facebook album, is too cute. Now I only wish I had a picture of me and all the mommies on the apple tree outside the B.A.

I miss you and your kids so much! XOXOXO

Venumadhava's Birthday Walk

2008-11-21T05:53:00.007-05:00

Today is Venumadhava's Birthday Walk at school. It is a Montessori Thing. Here is my boy, through the years. I had a hard time picking shots of him since most of them are on disc somewhere (note to self: find that cd!). I was torn between adorable action shots that actually show off his personality and getting pictures where his cute yet ephemeral curls are visible. This is what I came up with:

Me and my one day old boy in our apartment in Philly.

One year old and curly in Philly.

Holding brand new Madhumati in North Carolina.

Two years old in North Carolina (with 5 mo. old Madhumati)

Three years old (almost) at Gita Nagari House. With Nimbu, Kichari and Gita Nagari (kittens).

Four and farm. In front of Salauni at Gita Nagari Farm.

Almost five. First time at the beach (thoroughly enjoying a pomegranate). Tampa, Florida

Boys On Film

2008-11-18T13:25:00.004-05:00

Venumadhava waving out the cake. Yes, the singular '5' candle was the cheapest one to get. You know me, the frugal gourmet.

Venumadhava's birthday party was a very boyish affair. There were some sisters present, but overall it was a boy-fest. Mostly older boys, actually. Thankfully I have had no run in's with any of the moms of the many girls in my son's pre-school class. I hope they all understand that the reason their daughters weren't invited to the gala event was not because we don't like them but because my son only wanted homeboys at the par-tay and I feel that is okay. We are looking forward, however, to having a party for Madhumati this coming June with approximately 20 princesses in attendance.

Venumadhava, Isa & Kamala Sundari (she has an older brother, Nimai)

Celebrity Citing At the Manor

2008-11-14T15:14:00.003-05:00

"Yes BenLoka did cut his hair and he seems to be enjoying temple life very much from what i hear - I don't think he's actively blogging right now but I heard that the temple would have no problem with it..."

It has been confirmed by my anonymous dispatch on the street that Ben aka Ben Loka is alive and well with a shaved head living in the Hare Krishna Temple outside of London.

I could manage to write a few more sentences, but considering I really know nothing more than that, the exercise would be a pointless use of mine and this blog's readers' time.

We can all get on with our lives now.

Not All Demigoddesses are Extreme Beauties

2008-11-12T06:13:00.004-05:00

Supermodel Heidi Klum does the Kali Ma thing for Halloween. Thanks Carl and Rathi!

Assimilated Hare Krishnas

2008-11-10T08:03:00.004-05:00

According to my kids, Madhumati was a cheetah and Venumadhava was a dragon.

It is official. We are assimilated Hare Krishnas. No longer able to shelter my children from such average American events like Halloween, we gave in, bought some el-crappo costumes for them and took to the streets October 31st. Downtown Alachua had some sort of festival thingie going on, so we just showed up, held out our bags and shopkeepers filled them with candy. Along the way we even met some (actually, many) friends.

Laksmi as a geisha.

Venumadhava, Jahnavi, Radhe, Madhumati & Radhe's dad

At the end of the nite I confiscated the candy bags to weed out any non-veg contraband. We spoke to the kids beforehand about the fact that not all candy was edible because it may contain gelatin or eggs. When I say "spoke" that is kind of putting it mildly, I guess, because apparently I instilled in my son such a fear of the meat candy that for the first half hour he refused to hold out his candy bag. Personally, I found this behavior very advanced but a little...too...1972. So I had a little talk with the kid, convincing him that it is okay to beg door to door for alms. Like, seriously. This is brahmacari life.

So ends an era in my children's isolated, cult existence. I suppose they will also learn, this year, who Santa Clause is. Thankfully, since my husband and I were both raised in Hanukkah Harry households (yes, we grew up on the set of Saturday Night Live), I think we can somehow get away with avoiding that trap, I mean tradition, even if the entire surrounding devotee population is into it. Which I am not quite sure that is the case.

I remember last year being in Wal-mart and some lady was all, "You ready for Santa? You been a good little girl and boy? What's Santa going to bring you this year?" My kids had no idea what she was talking about since it was a topic that had never naturally come up in our remote farm life. Venumadhava just looked at her, curled his lip and growled. His mata couldn't have been prouder. I kid you not.

So...I guess a lot has changed in this past year. A little too much, perhaps. But our kids are happy and chanting and my son is not asking to cut off his sikha anymore and my daughter is contemplating, internally, whether or not to offer her boogers before she eats them. I can see her mind working, sorting through Bhagavad Gita verses, trying to decide between rote, religious ritual and spontaneous bhakti.

Really, devotee kids are so special.

OPEN LETTER TO JAHNAVI!

2008-11-07T19:01:00.002-05:00

Did Ben (AKA BenLoka) shave up? What's his story? WHERE IS BENLOKA!!!

Does the Manor not let him blog? What's wrong with your country? How unjust!!!! Obama for Prime Minister!!!!!!

Obama to Open Hanuman Temples

2008-11-06T05:31:00.006-05:00

It is a little known fact that the first thing President-elect Barack Obama will do once he takes office is open 18 Hanuman temples throughout the United States. Major cities such as Chicago, DC, New York, LA, Miami, Dallas, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, Raleigh, Atlanta, New Orleans, San Francisco, Portland, Oklahoma City, Tucson, Anchorage, Trenton and Camden all have groundbreaking ceremonies slated for the new temples the day after Obama takes office.

After his first 90 days in office, President Obama plans on seizing all Bikram Yoga Studios and converting them to Hanuman temples. Following that, all GNC retail outlets will also be converted to Hanuman Temples.

In the aftermath, Americans will just grow fatter and lazier as they will have no place to buy their powdered supplements (many of which are more stimulating than caffeine and dark chocolate combined) and no place to stand on their head in a socially acceptable atmosphere.

But, according to a recent poll by Time Magazine, the majority of American people are already fat and lazy and feel a return to the status quo will only make this country greater. In terms of girth.

What It Means

2008-11-04T20:32:00.007-05:00

Voting = (Embarrassment over subtle desire to be the controller) < (Embarrassent over holding US Passport)

Has anyone else noticed that only the New Zealand devotees make a big deal about yoga and how big their muscles are?

I've never read any blog entries from Vaisnavas in any other country about their yoga mucles....

What does that mean?

Mother Kaulini Health Update

2008-11-02T19:00:00.006-05:00

This evening I spoke with Mother Kaulini on the phone. She is in Upstate New York, staying in Saci Suta's swami barn with Mother Swarga, who is looking after her. As many know, Mother Kaulini was pretty incapacitated after cooking for the last Romapada Swami retreat. Attendance was around 30, so Mother Kaulini didn't think it would be a problem taking on 3 meals a day for the weekend all by herself. When I think of Mother Kaulini, I think of a gopi with an incredible capacity for service. She is more than my role model, she is my istha-deva...in a complicated, motherly kind of way. But still, her physical body is subject to the limitations of material energy and this exertion really pushed her to her limit.

After getting mis-diagnosed as having a Lyme's disease relapse and also a diagnosis for arthritis, Mother Kaulini was put on pregnesone. By the time Govardhana Puja rolled around, Mother Kaulini had moved into Mother Swarga and Mother Vegavati's place since she was unable to care for herself. She could not walk and her eyesight was extremely blurry. Saci-suta Prabhu attended the GN festival and took her back home with him so that she could get better medical care.

Two days after Govardhana Puja she couldn't even lift her head. Her eyesight was pretty non-existent. She was taken to the hospital and her blood sugar was at 1000. My husband said that 400 is considered high. She was admitted to the ICU and diagnosed as diabetic.

When Mother Kaulini was telling me this tonite she said, "If I had stayed at Gita Nagari I would have died." This really disturbed me since Mother Kaulini has dedicated her life to the farm, but I understood what she meant. The facility just isn't there. The doctors, shopping...everything is far and an endeavor to get to.

In the ICU Mother Kaulini's nurse was a man who had just recently attended Gaura Vani Prabhu's kirtan and yoga retreat at Keli's studio. She felt really blessed by Krishna to have such a special nurse taking care of her.

The day after Mother Kaulini was released from the ICU (I assume she was in a step-down unit) she was in her hospital bed chanting like a madman. An Indian bodied man came to take blood. Mother Kaulini was struck by his features; she said he was very beautiful, like the boys who do the lila performances in Braja. She was furiously chanting and he started chanting, too. Only he was singing--the standard Prabhupada tune--but with a different mantra.

"Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Rama Rama Hare Hare."

When Mother Kaulini heard this, she got very angry at him. Anyone who knows Mother Kaulini knows that anger is not in her usual repertoire of emotions. But she started chastising him heavily, "No! That is not the mantra! You have to chant properly...like this!" And she recited the maha-mantra to him.

But the sweetness of his voice, which also reminded her of the lila actors of Vrindavan, soothed her anger and she said, "Okay, you can chant your mantra and I will chant my mantra. The maha-mantra." So like this he was taking her blood and back and forth they would take turns chanting. This is the Mother Kaulini I know. Strict with herself and lenient with others. The very definition of sadhu sanga: encouragement.

Now she is out of the hospital and staying at the swami barn. She is in awe of the facility, which is so nice compared to her humble room and decrepit bathroom back at the farm. I am laughing to myself because I am remembering Kiriti's words from a while back. "She should be treated as good as a sannyasi." Well, my dear friend Kiriti, Krishna heard you!

Yesterday she and the devotees from Stuyvesant Falls had an intimate and sweet celebration of Srila Prabhupada's Disappearance Day. They chanted bhajans in the temple room and brought the Prabhupada Murti right up close to Mother Kaulini so that she could see him (her vision is still a little fuzzy). Then they watched the Prabhupada movies that Vishaka Mataji and Yadubara Prabhu put out. It was a lot of New Vrindavan footage and a lot of (fuzzy) familiar faces. I asked if Mother Taruni was on there and she said no. Then she told me that she just spoke with Mother Taruni and that Mother Taruni said that when she saw Mother Kaulini at Govardhana Puja she thought Krishna was going to take her soon.

This is the kind of stuff I am having a hard time, personally, hearing. Mother Kaulini told me this, I think, to say that she is doing so much better now. But it makes me feel awful for leaving Gita Nagari. Just awful. And foolish. And like a horrible person. Not like me being there would have prevented any of this. Not like my life was such towards the end that I had time for anything more than driving my kids back and forth to State College and cooking dinner, but still. When I moved there I really wanted to do service with and for Mother Kaulini. Sometimes the situation was frustrating, because she sees things completely from a spiritual perspective and I am a gross materialist in comparison. But still, I was well situated in her association. I was fortunate.

I told Mother Kaulini I will call her. Every day. I realize, especially after Mother Taruni's comment, how I need to take advantage of whatever association I can get from this advanced devotee who allows me to be her friend. I wish there was some service I could offer her, but I am so far away and so engrossed in life with kids and husband and house and stray cats. Like most things in life, this isn't how I feel it should be.

More Harvest Festival At NRRS

2008-11-01T20:18:00.004-04:00

Chandramuhki....the future Mrs. Venumadhava Das Mirel? A mata can hope...

New Raman Reti Gurukula Harvest Festival

2008-10-31T17:16:00.001-04:00

Uber Loki

2008-10-31T10:00:00.002-04:00

My Venumadhava

2008-10-29T20:32:00.005-04:00

With Gobar Krishna

Mugging it up for the camera...doing his DeNiro impersonation.

In character as Madhu-mangala. He held that smile through the entire play.

Playing his air mrdanga.

Unable to resist the urge to climb. Thankfully Uncle Chaturatma is in India!

"I Am Not a Role Model"

2008-10-28T16:13:00.003-04:00

Today I was happy to discover Gauranga Kishore's latest blog incarnation. We saw a video of the Alachua boys on mrdanga, which made my kids super happy. They like to fight over who gets to be Bali. Thankfully the argument ended today by my daugher opting to be Rasika.

I am so happy that my children's role models are Krishna bhaktas. Now we are just waiting for the Mayapuri action figures.

My Imaginary Friends

2008-10-28T09:28:00.002-04:00

I used to think the internet just isolated people as individuals sat in solitude plugged into the glow of their plasma screen, participating in a one sided interaction with the world. And then I moved and got wifi.

Now I have friends all over the place. People contact me on Facebook, through the comments section of my blog and through good old fashioned email. We joke, send each other presents and sometimes I even mouth off to them, hoping my sense of humor can be understood by a simple ;) thrown in for good measure.

Sometimes, as fate would have it, I even end up in the same room as some of my imaginary friends. Of course, neither of us recognize one another in real life or sometimes we even forget that we are online friends. That world is so vast and expansive. But when we do realize we have already occupied a space in one another's lives, there is usually an embrace, big smiles and a momentum to the conversation. You know, like with old friends.

It is all very weird but kind of fun. Last nite I extended a dinner invite to a devotee who may visit Alachua soon. I only know him through his blog and 2 brief email exchanges after I left some characteristically over familiar oh so Devadeva comments on his blog. Thankfully he didn't think the invite was weird. I guess he is familiar enough with my blog that we seem to think we sort of know one another enough for this whole thing to be normal.

And what does my dear husband think of the whole thing? He is not prone to an online life so he thinks it's great when imaginary friends become real. Or at least come over for prasadam.

I Love Acarya

2008-10-27T20:37:00.004-04:00

True Story: My wife answered the phone at Gita-nagari last week and one Indian man was speaking very excitedly about the notice posted at his place of employment. He said, "Is it true that you are burning Ravana?" My wife replied yes and started telling him about the whole festival. He interrupted and said that he was very offended. He was from South India and explained that in his community, Ravana was god and thought that we were very offensive to burn his worshippable deity. After a few more angry words and empty threats, he hung up.

The above is from the Chakra article submitted by Acarya Prabhu from Gita Nagari. Actually, it is the entire article. He has a very dry sense of humor and I miss him and his family very much. They are the root source of my home canning inspiration.

Last year we had a very dangerous Dussera celebration at Gita Nagari. If you want to read about it, click here. This year's festival should be far less dangerous, though just as flammable. I think the crowd will be more than just 30 feet back from the shooting rockets, which I know Acarya will not give up, despite the liability of it all.

To fully appreciate his pyrotechnics you really need to know him as the brahmana that he is. The kind who gives a pakka class in a "Who's Your Daddy?" tee shirt.

The Hill

2008-10-27T06:30:00.002-04:00

The Alachua devotees put together an amazing looking replication of Govardhana Hill. The temple on top of the hill was crafted from burfi. Even after I took these pictures more was being added. Powdered sugar was being sprinkled along the parikrama path to emulate the dust of Braja.

When it came time to circumambulate the Hill, Visvambhara chanted like a madman. The men were kind of crazy. For an outdoor kirtan it was superloud and once you started circling the Hill it felt like you were caught in some sort of spiritualized merry go round. There was no getting off!

Visvambhara continued chanting inside the temple room where, in the presence of Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara, was twice as mad!

Giri Govardhana Maharaja: Abhiseka in the AM

2008-10-26T20:05:00.004-04:00

The Altar: Govardhana Puja: Limited Shots

2008-10-26T19:56:00.002-04:00

Govardhana Puja--Celebrated

2008-10-26T13:32:00.003-04:00

Today we are celebrating Govardhana Puja at New Raman Reti. The Deities were offered a new outfit this moring--an Asian silk of red with white, silver and pink (complete with coordinating peacock backdrops). Greeting was made even more fabulous by the soundtrack (cows...rain..thunder), the strobe lite effecting lightning and the altar decorations. On top of the sringhasanas was the Samvartaka cloud of devastation. Rain (plastic-y shiny streamer-y tinsel-y things) was pouring down and the Deities stood atop Govardhana Hill. Really great decorations.

Madhava Prabhu's huge Sila was on the altar, painted so wonderfully. More and more

Silas kept arriving, all lovingly decorated by Their devotees. There was even a waterfall...it must have sounded very tranquil from the Deities' vantage point.

Hardly anyone was at the temple, which I still can't figure out. Maybe everyone was at home doing seva. Anyway, there was a terrific abhiseka, which me and some girls had the opportunity to make dried fruit garlands for. So much colorful fruit juice! The caranamrta tasted like strawberry lassi. Since the program was scarcely populate, I go to bath Giriraja 5 times. More mercy. It kind of reminded me of Gita Nagari, except I would have considered the attendance packed for GN.

I just got done cooking some cooking for the clay pot offerings tonite. I have pictures from this morning and will try to post them later.

We are having a really great day. Like being in Vrindavan...but without hoards of local people staring at us and asking to take our picture. At least they ask.

Giri Govardhana Maharaja ki Jaya!

Kartik Realization

2008-10-25T03:38:00.000-04:00

A month is a relatively long time.

More Bucked Than I Realized

2008-10-23T14:42:00.002-04:00

Today is not Ekadasi. I thought it was, but it is not. I had the Krishna-kathamrta Bindu in my inbox, which helped convince me of this fallacy. I found out this afternoon at my kids' school. I should have realized when I saw Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara in teal, but no. Yoga-maya did not allow me to make the connection.

I have been following Ekadasi. My husband has, too. I saw my kids swipe some popcorn from Kanchabala after school, so they are busted. True, it is Kartik....more benefit! But I am vata and to be honest, I just don't want to do this again tomorrow. What to speak of the whole Ekadasi cooking yajna.

It must be Ekadasi somewhere else on this planet, no?

Prasadatarian

2008-10-22T09:15:00.004-04:00

[...] And if you simply make this determined vow - "I shall not allow my tongue to taste anything not offered to Krsna and shall always engage my tongue in chanting Hare Krsna" - then all perfection is in your grasp. All perfection. Two simple things: don't eat anything not offered to Krsna, and always chant Hare Krsna. That's all.

Srila Prabhupada, from The Quest for Enlightenment

Just read this quote from Prabhupada on Kadamba's blog.

It is such a simple and perfect instruction. Sometimes I think that if I can just manage to follow one of Prabhupada's instructions perfectly that there will be some hope for me. But, to my great misfortune, I am a long way from perfect.

I think instructions on prasadam are often minimized these days because most people live outside the temple, life is busy and cooking is often inconvenient. But really, the effect of eating non-offerable foodstuff is serious. We may not notice it so much--it is subtle, like the positive effect of just associating with devotees or visiting the temple--but the effect on spiritual life is deep. I see with myself the effect on my children and myself when I eat foodstuff not prepared by devotees. Or when I myself am not in good consciousness when cooking.

I remember when I first joined and I would offer store bought things to a picture of Srila Prabhupada. I had such sincerity in doing so. But now if I happen to get some store bought thing, I cannot bring myself to do a formal offering. It was not prepared with love and devotion for Krishna. It is just crap to satisfy my tongue. Sure, I do a little Sri Vishnu-ing, but I feel like I don't want to insult Prabhupada with some crappy offering when I know better. I would rather verily eat sin than offer potato chips from an aluminum bag to the guru.

Once at a festival at Gita Nagari HH Bhakti Tirtha Swami saw some disciples who had travelled very far--all the way from Detroit--to attend. They got out of their car with a bag of chips and Maharaja stopped dead in his tracks and just looked at them. Then he said, "I don't know who you offered that to but I know it wasn't me because I don't eat food out of an aluminum bag!"

Classsic BTS. Gotta love it! It totally stuck with me as a purport to Patram puspam....

DEVAMBO!!!!

2008-10-19T08:52:00.013-04:00

"She was just another drifter who broke the law!"

This morning while out for my run I wondered if there was any benefit to be gained from running in weather which is a bit too cold for me. I should have been at the temple offering a lamp to Damodara, but (the "but" is the problem...I know) I keep saying I am going to run in the evening when it is warmer but the evening is always too busy. I need to run to stay healthy or else my body gives me too much trouble. Justify justify justify.

"Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS! "

I was thinking about my life. How choosing Krishna consciousness has changed my entire material path. How the only job I am qualified for is whatever cooking gig I make for myself. I tried getting a job in State College, when we lived at Gita Nagari, as a baker in a bread shop. No luck. Even though the only thing on my resume for the past 11 years is kitchen stuff. I have a college degree but no work experience. "I'm a people person!" Really, I'm not. You just think I am because I have a blog. Or two. Or three.

I need to be in decent shape to keep up in the kitchen. To keep up with my kids. To keep up with my life. I need to run. It actually helps me minimize the time I spend taking care of my body. Thirty minutes a day is not much.

"Sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. And I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day. Sometimes a week. Can't put it out of my mind. "

When I was running I was meditating on the mercy of Mahaprabhu. If sleeping in Navadvip Dhama is accepted as obeisances, than surely chanting and running has to be accepted as harinama sankirtana. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare....

I was thinking about Sita-pati and his Conan the Barbarian challenge. And I was thinking about Alice, Puskar's mom--an old lady who could surely kick my butt.

But still, i was thinking about how I am in maya--not at the temple. Not offering lamps. When I turned onto 441 and got to the intersection, I saw little Sadhuvasi and his parents. They must have taken a japa walk all the way from the temple to the corner. Pretty far in such chilly weather. "Haribol!" Boy, did I feel dumb.

And that's when I created my altar ego: DEVAMBO!!!!

"Maya Devi...I'm coming to get YOU!"

"She's out of the ashram...and she thinks the world owes her something. Armed with a hand carved Italian wood spoon, 108 rounds of japa and sheer determination to conquer sleep, Devambo is now going to settle the score. "

Mini-Devambo will carry on the legacy...

Krishna: Full of Minimalism

2008-10-16T16:17:00.002-04:00

I just read Jahnavi's Kartik poem. The last couple of lines reminded me of this great Ezra Pound poem:

IN A STATION OF THE METRO

The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.

I think the point of her poem was to remind us all of Krishna, yet here I am remembering this poem from my college girl days. Pound's strip to the bare bones poem always seemed kind of mystical to me. We are brought together--united in our own individual purpose-- and then we disperse.

There is no permanence.

Can't Go Back...

2008-10-15T06:54:00.005-04:00

It's day 2 of Kartik and have already let myself down. I truly wanted to attend mangala aroti throughout the month; I didn't make any formal vrata for myself because I know I don't do well with vows. But the one thing that used to inspire me in my spiritual life (not that it ever was much of a life) was attending mangala aroti. Naturally, 4:30 in the morning is a quiet time of day. Only the Deities are lit in the temple room, making it easier to focus on Their perfect forms. And the kirtan is chanted in a mood appropriate for the time of day. It is thoughtful and melodious and makes me feel alone in a crowd but in a good way.

But the reality is, I have so much stuff to do. Too much. I remember a class Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami gave at my friend's house when Venumadhava was a newborn. He said something that really has stuck with me over the years. Maharaja was speaking about devotees in general and grhastas specifically, saying that we are living the lives we live based on the arrangements we make for ourselves which stem from our own personal desires. This is true. If my number one priority was attending the morning program, I would arrange my life in such a way that I could do this.

There is part of me which feels like I am doing the best that I can do given the circumstances. I mean, I am not the controller. Things are happening and I have to live my life in response to them. But at the same time, I am making/have made decisions which effect my life past present and future. It is all a challenge.

At the present moment, I can think of so many reasons why I cannot just rearrange my life--most of which have to do with the three other people I live with and am bound to in familial relations and responsibility. But is this just rationalization...a function of the false ego?

Anyway, my mind can go on and on justifying, making excuses and even showing quantitative evidence that there just isn't enough hours in the day. But I am trying to once again be more realistic about my abilities, limitations and desires. I am going to try to rise early in the day, during the brahma-muhurta hours. Maybe some days I will be able to use this time to improve my saddhana bhakti, maybe other days I will just use it to cook and fold laundry. Whatever I do with my time while awake, it is better than being asleep.

Yesterday at mangala-aroti, I was looking at Sadhuvasi, who is 3. He is so happy at the morning program. His parents are wonderful--completely attentive to Sadhuvasi and his baby sister. They see child raising as their number one service and put their entire heart into it. My heart, unfortunately, is divided. I am too American, looking for some sort of inner fulfillment which I am not finding, at present, by completely embracing my dharma as wife and mother. Ahh, my old life. I seem to think I was unhappy in that life, but more and more I am remembering it differently. Is this revisionist thinking or clarity?

I miss Gita Nagari terribly. Not the Gita Nagari posted in the Chakra Urgent Message and all the emails I get from the farm--which seems in even worse shape then when I lived there just a few months ago (is that possible?)--but my Gita Nagari...the one with fruit trees and cows and Mother Kaulini and the shine of Radha Damodara and the Dhama dust on my feet and sari and car and kids. I miss the call of the peacocks, the gravel path along the Yamuna and devotees who dressed just as badly as I do. I miss my garden, Acarya's Jewish mother jokes, Mother Sudevi stopping by to pick flowers and poisonous berries for decorating the altar and the lushness of the grass.

I miss Advaita--who's no longer there--and his kirtan. I miss the Ghanain devotees and their dancing. I miss the way Gita Nagari made me feel. As wide open as Advaita' smile pictured above.

I miss seeing Pandu and Leslie and their gaggle of kids. I miss the devotees I have known since I joined, who have loved me for better or for worse. I miss my lovey friends in New Jersey, who were just a four hour car ride away. I miss the radiant heat of our wood stove, Jaya Gopal dropping off a dump truck full of wood, the mountain valley air and the sound of Mother Kaulini playing Prabhupada tapes in the barn. I miss the simplicity of our old life.

Unfortunately, my kids don't.

It Pays to Advertise

2008-10-14T11:07:00.000-04:00

Let the Renovations Begin

2008-10-14T09:37:00.006-04:00

Today is the first day of Kartik. Yesterday was the first day of changing out two doors in our house.

Sri Thakur and his assistant, aka My Husband, change out the glass slider for a smaller set of atrium doors which will be flanked by glass block to make up the space.

I love you, Glass Block. You make me feel so California modern blonde wood like I have a swimming pool.

In addition to the atrium door, we added an exterior door, thus connecting my jam kitchen to the interior space of the house. Now I don't have to kick away swarming cats when I go up to my kitchen. That was pretty debilitating.

Boring, I know...but my mom loves this stuff.

xo to you, mom!

Oh, but since it is the first day of Kartik, I will add some KC commentary.

Stuff doesn't make you happy. Unless it is kitchen stuff. Or glass block, which a girl like me has wanted in her life since she saw Less Than Zero at a way too young age. Mom, what were you thinking letting me go to that awful movie? But that one scene with the light refracted from the pool through the glass block looked beautiful. So, aside from kitchen stuff and glass block (which I would like in my kitchen when we remodel it...thus making it kitchen stuff) everything else that is not connected to Krishna is Maya.

Including this blah blah blog.

Hey..it's not my fault that this blog feeds to Planet Iskcon...Okay, it is because I submitted the blog. Just learn to skip over these postings, folks! And self conscious apologies for all it's silliness. A girl needs to unwind...and self-publish...while riding the exercise bike.

See Them Eat Love

2008-10-12T13:28:00.003-04:00

The Athens pics are up on See Them Eat. I got them up sooner than expected because when I went back and looked at Bh. Chris's email, I saw that the Athens devotees voted See Them Eat "Blog of the Year."

Did Chris Prabhu mean best or worst?

Material Desire Dot Com

2008-10-12T00:13:00.002-04:00

I just googled "understanding material desire" and this is the first hit that showed up on the query.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Rasa-mayi

2008-10-11T22:02:00.004-04:00

My 7 year old friend, Rasa-mayi Durina of Detroit, is another person who I actually knew at my wedding, although she was only about 6 months old. Here is some of her most recent artwork. She is a very devotional girl, very "homely with a wheatish complexion." Actually, she is white as rice flour.

I am particularly liking the stylized foliage on the trees, as well as Vishaka-devi's camara.

Between Mouthfuls

2008-10-11T03:25:00.003-04:00

See Them Eat may soon get retitled See Them Hare Krishnas Eat.

More photos going up this week. Just in time for Kartik! Here's a sneak peak of Bcd eating his spicy maple syrup lemonade (hey bro, what about your ulcer?!?) with a plastic fork. That is so very non-devotional of him. He should be using a spoon. Or is it a sugar cane hand???

Anyway, those monks in Athens sure are funny. You know, for monks.

I am a little behind in posting and hope everyone who sent stuff will forgive me. Thank you for not sending me harassing emails.

Balaramacandra Prabhu is such a self-effulgent soul. And one of the few people I actually knew at my wedding. His beautiful moonlike face and golden complexion always reminds me of Lord Caitanya.

In preparation for the Bcd/Athens/Vegan See Them Eat photo spread, here is a little something from Caitanya Bhagavat (Antya Lila...Chapter 3) to set the mood.

The whole day passed in the ecstasy of dancing and kirtan, and finally the Lord sat down with all the devotees. Sri Advaita begged permission from the Lord to prepare for eating, and busied Himself making the necessary arrangements for all the Vaisanvas' pradasa.

The Lord sat down to eat with His entire group of devotees. As usual the devotees sat around Him everyone wanting Him to be in the center. Like the many shining luminaries in the dark purple sky were the devotees, and the Lord arose on the horizon looking more iridescent than a million moons.

Mother Saci had prepared a delicious feast in honor of Sri Madhavendra Puri with an incredible variety of rice preparations, vegetables and sweets. The Lord relished the transcendental delicacies and spoke about the glories of Sila Madhavendra Puri between mouthfuls. It was difficult to say which mouthful He relished more.

The Lord said, "If one is fortunate enough to taste this wonderful prasada in honor of Srila Madhavendra Puri's appearance day,then one is immediately showered with loving devotion to Lord Krsna."

What a Pig!

2008-10-10T11:00:00.004-04:00

This morning I had a routine dental appointment. While living in the ashram, I never went to the dentist. When I finally visited the dentist post-ashram, things were not looking good inside my mouth. Now I try to take good care of my teeth and visit the dentist twice a year for a cleaning.

My appointment went well. On the way to the dentist I was remembering how my husband's godbrother said he would never go to the dentist because he didn't want some "karmi meat eater" sticking his hands in his mouth. Point taken. During my appointment, I continued to think about this. My hygienist and I got along well. Like the eye doctor I met with previously in the week, she told me I was "hysterical" and empathized with my discomfort with the x-rays since she, too, has a small mouth (we were talking size-wise, not volume-wise). This just may have been my funniest week ever. And, wouldn't you know it....she was raised a vegetarian, visited the temple a few times as a kid with her folks and was wearing gloves, so it wasn't like her hands were really *in* my mouth anyway.

This body is simply bones and gold: my teeth and my nose ring.

My main concern is gum recession and sensitivity--areas which I exceed at. Thankfully the dentist reassured me that my teeth were in no danger of falling out but he was concerned about my gum recession. After quizzing me about whether or not I am a hard brusher (not) he attributed my recession to the fact that I grind my teeth.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. They are flat from you grinding them."

Oh.

The dentist wanted to give me some kind of guard to wear at nite, which I kindly refused knowing very well it would never make it into my mouth. When I got home my husband called and I told him about the appointment. This is when he told me that he has not only heard but also seen me grinding my teeth at nite.

"it's like you're eating something," he told me.

Thankfully, I am well mannered enough to chew with my mouth closed, even while sleeping.

But really, could I be a bigger pig? I eat in my sleep!

There have been times when I have sleep chanted--mumbling the maha-mantra in the middle of the night. That's cool. That makes me look like I have it together spiritually. But that, sadly, is history. Now I am just macerating air.

Okay, so here is my Kartik vrata--I need to reduce my teeth grinding and increase my nama mumbling. Since these are activities I do in my sleep, it will all take place on a very subtle level. But definitely my activities during my waking hours will bare influence on my activities during my sleeping hours (why do I have to be active even when I am sleeping?).

So either I will have to increase the quality of my chanting or decrease the quantity of my eating during Kartik.

I 've yet to decided which will be more difficult. Really, it's a toss up.

Making Their Gurus Proud

2008-10-09T06:42:00.002-04:00

I just posted the last of the NJ Party People's pics to See Them Eat. I am still trying to figure it out--these devotees actually wanted to be on the blog and took the pictures specifically for submission. Most people do not want to be caught in such a compromising position.

I think these photos give testimony to the intoxicating effect of prasadam. Actually, the sweets were offered to the newly installed Jagannatha Deities at the home of Gopa and Kisori. Rumor has it that the prasadam from these beautiful Deities is quite intoxicating. The Deities are very well fed which means that there is a lot of intoxication available for distribution.

Alright...so the pictures are up...which means I should get a break from all the harassing emails from my friends in New Jersey...threatening to never buy my jam again if I don't post them!

Cast Your Vote

2008-10-08T19:15:00.004-04:00

My husband picked up his new specs today. Do you think they make him look more or less like Sita-pati? I'm voting less, although I think the resemblance is, quite frankly, chronic. Even my husband agrees.

However, once Sita-pati finishes his transformation into Conan the Barbarian, their resemblance should become much less remarkable.

Chomp Chomp

2008-10-08T06:28:00.002-04:00

A lot of people have sent me pics of eating folks for my See Them Eat blog. I want to apologize for being slow to post them. They are all great and will make it up in due course of time. Right now I am a bit swamped with a catering gig and am in my last 2 weeks of personal cheffing (relief). Things should be slowing down to a mere zoom in the upcoming weeks. In the meantime, please keep eating...and snapping away!

Above is a shot of Govardhana Lal double handing a vegan twinkie. It is one of my faves because it really captures the rapturous mood of the NJ devotees when it comes to taking prasad. Isn't it that when something is really holy you take it in both hands? Behold...the Holy Twinkie!!!!

Cheater's Cooking

2008-10-08T00:07:00.003-04:00

While my Sabjimata Jam Blog has to have some sort of standard for the postings (yes, I know..the standard is getting a little lax), this blog will let anything on. So, here are two little kitchen cheats I utilized in the past 2 days which I am going to share with you here, instead of here.

The first one involves pakoras. Want extra flavorful pakoras without the headwork of putting together some masala? Simply take 6 cups of Doritos for every 2 cups of besan flour and grind those chips up in your food processor. Then sift them into your besan flour. My friend, Kisori, recently told me that they make *organic* Doritos, so if you like your Dorito masala pakoras au natural, it is totally doable.

Ha! I am so funny. No, that is not my cheat. And besides, 6 cups of Doritos to 2 cups of besan would be sick.

No.

Okay.

So, the first cheat concerns lasagna. Some people use the no bake noodles, which are good but the reason they are no bake is that they are thinner. I have made lasagna with the regular noodles but no bake by making the sauce very saucy and baking a long time. However, even baking well over an hour has left the noodles with a little bite still. By the next day they absorb the sauce and are melty soft. But if you don't want to make your quick lasagna a two day affair, nor do you want to deal with boiling noodles, you can pre-soak your noodles in water until they soften up a bit. Warm water works best (but warm it in a pan....do not take warm water from the tap...gross!!!).

My other cheat has to do with being frugal...so really it is not cheating but *saving.* I just came across some leftover cake icing which was still edible. The icing was made from cream cheese, carob powder and powdered sugar. Since I wasn't planning on baking any cakes tonite, I added some whole wheat flour, baking powder and baking soda to the mix to create a cookie not so unlike tea cookies...but a bit more cake-like. I call them sweetie wheaties, because cookies should have cute names (think snickerdoodle).

My sweetie wheaties...edible enough.

I Love BenLoka (In Theory)

2008-10-07T21:52:00.004-04:00

I just discovered BenLoka. Funny guy. To see Ben's blog, visit benloka.blogspot.com. I linked some YouTube videos here to give you a sample of Ben's planetary personality. The last video where he talks about moving into the temple is sooo cute! Hopefully Ben will update his blog with the in's and out's of acclimating to ashram life. Have fun watching. And yes, I am aware this blog gets about 10 hits a day. So what? All 10 of you, go ahead and have fun! You too, mom. All you have to do is click the links and the computer will do the rest. I promise.

SAMSKARA

On the Couch with BenLoka (2)

Facebook

Off to the Temple

The 'F' Word

2008-10-06T21:22:00.003-04:00

Tonite we had some friends over for kirtan and prasad and I am having the realization that I am not in Jersey any more!!! Although this time and the last time we had friends over for prasad everyone ate heartily, I feel some post-meal guilt that I overfed them. You see, unlike my friends in New Jersey and PA, the folks down here seem to use the 'F' word...and they use it often...

FULL

As in, "Oh, no more please...I'm full." Or, "You cooked so much; I am so full!"

In Jersey, they like to eat. Sure, my friends there have a mouth on them. But they don't use it to say the 'f' word (well, not that one at least!). They use it to eat! With pleasure.

Now, I don't want to give you the wrong idea about my Jersey pals. It's true. I have heard them say "full" a few times. As in, "Hey, my cup's not full!" Or, "I'll take another full plate." Seconds, thirds, its all par for the course when feeding those guys.

Oh my northeastern friends...I miss 'f'ing you up with prasad!!! Please come visit and I will cook too much for you. I promise!!!!

Check See Them Eat over the next few days. Kadamba sent me some pics of Jersey kids eating...vegan twinkies!!!!! Oh, a sight to behold!

And Then We Had Kirtan...

2008-10-06T20:35:00.003-04:00

My Feminine Mystique

2008-10-03T21:05:00.009-04:00

It's true, this is what my husband comes home to. Hey...even though it's Florida, it's pretty cold in the mornings and evenings...I need my layers...and wool socks! And while I may be missing a few key elements to being a good wife, I did manage to have dinner on the table (basmati rice, spinach/green bean/tofu sabji, foccacia with Sabjimata Spicy Italian Sausage, artichokes with tarragon mango butter and apple chestnut crisp).

Who's going to go out for hamburger when there's steak at home (veggie, of course)?!

Storehouse of Love

2008-09-29T23:46:00.003-04:00

Last nite I attended perhaps the most moving program in my short career as a devotee. It was in honor of Mata Saci, the departed wife of Premananda Goura Prabhu and the mother of Bali and Kish.

There is so much I could say about the program and the devotees, but I honestly have less than no time. Basically, I have never felt such concentrated love before. Premananda Goura is an amazing soul--so full of life and free of envy. He and his sons have so much taste for the Holy Name. And they all attribute their good qualities to Mata Saci, their heart and soul.

The story of Premananda Goura and Mata Saci's marriage is a true love story. And the story only continues with Prabhu's utter devotion and love to his wife. I have never heard a man so wholeheartedly glorify his wife's qualities before.

I cannot do the event justice. There was amazing kirtan followed by some heartfelt words of love and appreciation by Bali. Premananda Goura unveiled a website dedicated to his wife, an ongoing project in honor of her pure service as a wife, mother and Krishna bhakta. Then the Mayapuris, accompanied by Yaitza on cello, performed the most moving rendition of Parama Karuna. As an encore, Jaggi performed an original song he wrote about the Divine Couple--poetry set to acoustic guitar.

I cannot believe the good fortune I have to live amongst such amazing devotees.

At the end of all the chanting, Premananda Goura was like, "Turn to the person next to you and tell them you love them!" Ha! I already did. As soon as the kirtan was over I had turned to Vish and declared my love to him. The kirtan of these devotees is resuscitating my spiritual life.

I am so greatful to Mayapur Malini for taking me into her family. If I cannot be a Rico, at least I can be French Canadian.

On the way home from the program, Venumadhava asked, "Can we visit another planet."

I replied, "If we chant Krishna's names purely with love we can."

"You mean Krishna's planet."

"Yup, that's right."

And then he said, "Can we go to Premananda Goura's house everyday and chant?"

Feliz Cumpleanos

2008-09-27T20:04:00.004-04:00

Today my husband worked. I woke the kids up to bring them to the temple, despite the fact that it is Saturday. It is good to go see Krishna, plus I had my too thick kheer (oops...will do better next time, I promise!) to drop off for the Deities. I am feeling very fortunate to have moved to a ready made Krishna conscious community, where kirtan and class and aroti are going independent of our attendance at the temple. I feel, however, that I need to take greater advantage of this reservoir of nectar. I need to remind myself not to take the availability of association for granted.

After class my kids hung out with Indrani's boys, wrestling and throwing our stuffed monkey up into a tree. Madhumati surely attracted Srimati Radharani's attention this morning in her purple sari, pink dupatta and leopard print cardigan.

This afternoon we attended a birthday party. We got there on time, which basically meant early. My son and the boys passed the time wrestling. Venumadhava is really into wrestling ever since he saw the South American gurukulis wrestle the Vrindavan gurukulis on Youtube.

He especially liked that all the boys had sikhas and were tough.

Can I tell you how awesome I think the Rico clan is? The party literally got started once Premananda Goura Prabhu arrived. "Who wants cake???!!!" All the kids were like "YAAAY!!!!" Prabhu clapped his hands together and said, "Okay, so first we are going to have a kirtan and all the kids have to chant....LOUDLY...and then you can have cake!!!!!" I don't even think I can communicate his enthusiasm with exclamation marks so I will sort of give up now.

He chants very beautifully, with sort of a raspy voice. And he really has a knack for getting the kids, especially the boys, involved. All the boys were playing instruments and chanting. And I have to say, my little loudmouth did me proud by chanting the loudest and with intense enthusiasm. Venumadhava is such an energetic kid. He just needs to use his powers for good.

After Premananda Goura prabhu's kirtan, the birthday boy--Vishnu--led Narasingha prayers. I was very impressed that the children were so focused on their chanting. After kirtan was some jal keli--sporting in the pool--and then prasadam. But before all of that, we received special mercy in the form of Lord Narasimhadeva's tooth from the murti in Mayapur. I was excited to get gently impaled by this maha because I once had a tooth from Narasimhadeva. This was in 1997 and it was only in my possession for a few days before I gave it as a Vyasa Puja offering to my diksa guru, but the feeling of having it was potent while it lasted.

Next, Prabhu grabbed this box off his altar and started saying "Here's Kurma! Here's Kurma! Anybody want to see Kurma!" The kids all crowded around to look at the sila.

Vishnu and his cake, which Mayapur Malini made from the Eggless Cakes book and it tasted super good--light and rich. While having prasadam I was just overwhelmed by my good fortune; I have a really full life. It has been 7 weeks since we moved to Alachua and already I feel settled and at home. I have met some really nice women and my kids are in with a nice bunch of little ones.

Premananda Gaura Prabhu was saying that they have to have camping and bon fires at their house. This is what they did for Bali and Kish when they were small. All the kids would come to their house for a weekend of fun fun fun. Prabhu was saying how all those kids are still friends today. And I see this. They are so close, like family. When I talk to the parents of my kids' friends, everyone says the same thing. That these friendships they are making now are going to be their lifelong friendships. It is, in a word, fantastic.

Super Freak

2008-09-26T09:10:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we went with Bhakti and Mathura to a state park full of hay bales and humungo spiders. For anyone interested in moving to Alachua but adverse to the heat, don't sweat it. The end of summer wasn't so bad and now it is autumn like anywhere else (at least in the morning). But the spiders are super freaks!!

Morning Mercy

2008-09-24T10:46:00.000-04:00

Last week, the morning that Sadaputa Prabhu's death was announced, I realized to myself that I needed to get some service at the temple. I wanted to develop some connection with Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara, to attract Their merciful glance, so I approached Mother Nitai and asked if there was any small service I could do while my kids were at school.

Everytime I come to the temple I see Mother Nitai. She is small and lean, a mere wisp of a woman in physical stature but a powerhouse of service. As the head of the Deity Department, she is always engaged with an air of contentment about her. At the same time, she is a busy woman and very serious about her service. I admit, I was slightly intimidated to approach her. After all, who am I to think I have any service to offer to Sri Sri Radhe Syam. But when I knocked on the door to the pujari room and told her my desire, her face immediately broke out into a huge grin. I knew I had nothing to be nervous about.

Today I helped her roll wicks for Kartik. We sat in Mother Akuti's class and worked, she twice as fast and with better results than me. After class I stayed in the temple room to continue my rolling. When I was out of cotton I returned the tray to the pujari room and apologized for my imperfect wicks.

I understand the nature of pujaris. Everything pakka. OCD for Krishna. In that instance I prayed that my service would be accepted. That the wicks would pass inspection and that Mother Nitai would not lose confidence in my ability to handle some menial task.

In that instance I had flashbacks to my early days in the ashram, when cleaning and mopping the temple room floor was my seva, and the head pujari would make morning announcements about how badly it was done. How Sri Sri Gaura Nitai were going to walk off the altar. And everyone would know it was my fault. I was, after all, the bhaktin left holding the broom.

But Mother Nitai just picked up some wicks, quickly rolled them between her finger and thumb, made a small comment (with a smile on her face) about the wicks burning too fast and burning the devotees (I apologize ahead of time ) and then said, "At least you're doing some service. Krishna sees that."

Thank you, mataji, thank you. In addition to attracting the attention of the Lord, I know I need to attract the attention of His devotee. Mercy is all I am made of.

With a vow to improve my wick rolling, I left and headed towards the dirt road which leads to the Tulasi house. Mother Nitai had asked that I keep the pujari room stocked with Tulasi leaves for the bhoga offering, something I am more than happy to do. Tomorrow I will begin picking, but I thought I should check out where the Tulasi house is today--just to be on the safe side.

Autumn has crept up on us, and the cool wind blowing over grass and through the huge oaks was reminding me of Gita Nagari. I was feeling separation from Mother Kaulini, the cows, the dust (in a few months it will be mud), the devotees and--since it is fall--the apples. Anyway, that was what I was thinking as I approached Tulasi's house. Once inside, however, my mind became focused on Vrindavan.

For the past five years, I have desired to return to the Holy Dhama of Vrindavan. Instead, I have driven my husband to the airport twice to drop him for pilgrimage to India while I stayed home and wondered just what a terrible demon I really was that I was denied entrance year after year. For the longest time I would burst into tears at random times of the day, wondering when I would ever again get the opportunity to feel the same dust under my feet which the Goswamis walked through. When I would hear the rapturous kirtan of the Vrindavanvasis, when I would set my eyes upon the magical forms of Krishna Balarama.

And I thought, if I keep trying, keep increasing, then yes, that time will come.

But I am impatient. I couldn't wait any longer. Lifetime after lifetime I have committed sinful activity, engaged in fulfilling my every lusty desire, and what...with a little sentimental Krishna smaranam, I thought something so wonderful would come to me so easily? Well, yeah! Everyone else I knew was buying their ticket.

And then all of a sudden, not even gradually, just within one month, my desire for Krishna vanished. I became content with being a spiritual loser. According to me, Krishna wasn't reciprocating and if that's the way He wanted it, then fine. I would un-reciprocate accordingly.

So with no desire to actually go to Vrindavan, I entered Tulasi house. Outside the wind was crisp and breezy, but inside Tulasi house, the warm air and scent of her manjaris made me feel as though I entered a spiritual spa. And right away, I felt a strong sense of gratitude for being allowed to enter the forest of Vrindavan. I decided to sit and chant.

Feeling like Vrindavan...

...but not looking like Vrindavan. Thankfully the hair will grow back.

Too Much Fun

2008-09-22T18:30:00.001-04:00

GET OUT!!! GET OUT FROM HERE!!!

2008-09-18T17:36:00.002-04:00

Since moving to Alachua August 4th, 3 devotees in the community have left their bodies. Right now there is a devotee in the MICU who is probably also on his way out.

It is a strange time to move to a community when so many people who have lived here for quite some time and are so dear to the devotees here are dying. There is an intensity and pause in devotes' interactions as they carry on with their day to day amidst the backdrop of mortality.

For me I am trying to wrap my head around disease and death passing over old age.

This past year as been totally crazy for me as I reassessed my life, lamenting my time in the ashram (and post-ashram...which was all very ashram like). It seemed like if there was ever a time to be somewhat material, my thirties were going to be my last decent shot at it. But with the onslaught of departures during morning announcements this past month, I can't shake Gour Govinda Swami's loving shout--GET OUT!!! GET OUT FROM HERE!!!

Before I die, I need an iPod.

(Maybe that's no the realization you were expecting, but it's heartfelt.)

De va Soul

2008-09-18T17:36:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine just called me on the phone, catching me in the act of a little Youtube hip-hop review. After she gave me a citation for being in total maya, I cued some moni love up for her.

Then we decided that during out late 90's fanatical Gita Nagari farm days, we could have used a little Moni Lovin'.

So here it is. Take note--there is nectarian wisdom (and a beat you can dance to) within:

for me:

de la soul

for her:

moni love

Low self esteem does not = humility.

Sudra Bhakti

2008-09-17T17:10:00.000-04:00

vande shri-krishna-chaitanya-

nityanandau sahoditau

gaudodaye pushpavantau

chitra shandau tamo-nudau

"I offer my respectful obeisances unto Sri Krishna Caitanya and Lord Nityananda, who are like the sun and moon. They have arisen simultaneously on the horizon of Gauda to dissipate the darkness of ignorance and thus wonderfully bestow benediction upon all." (Cc.Adi.1.2.)

Today I dressed my Gaura Nitai. It was a long time coming. We have been in Alachua five or six weeks now and Gaura Nitai have only been dressed once. Poor Gaura Bhagavan.

My service to Gaura Nitai is sporadic because I am afflicted with no desire to be in the mode of goodness. Passion passion passion keeps me going and going right past Gaura Nitai, who don't need my attention but appreciate it just the same.

Today I was able to slow down enough to take a walk through our yard, desperately trying to find something in bloom for the Sri Sri. Our previous two houses had gardens always in bloom (except, of course, in the dead of Gita Nagari's too long winter). Here, despite an abundance of greenery, I felt lucky to find some flowering weeds. We definitely have to plant some good stuff free of huge, protruding stamens. We always ended up with gardens full of Shiva flowers.

After gathering enough flowers to fit in only one teeny vase, I dressed Gaura Nitai in their sun and moon outfits. I used to wipe them down everyday with rose water and dress them but that was months ago. Gaura Nitai have sadly been neglected (but fed, I promise you) over recent months. Once we moved to Alachua, I wanted to start dressing them every Ekadasi, like a good householder, but Gaura Nitai know I am not a good householder. So I know Ekadasi is coming next week, but the spirit moved me, so to speak, today and I dressed Gaura Nitai without occasion (other than the fact that They're God and I am lower than the straw in the street).

Anyway, I know Their dress is very simple, but the effect is intensely cooling.

I Love Rasika dasi. Correction: I LOVE Rasika dasi

2008-09-15T08:16:00.001-04:00

I never thought that I would bemoan the mere six minute car ride to drop my kids off at the gurukula...but this morning I wished it was longer. The kids and I were so excited to listen to Rasika dasi's new cd--Kirtaniya Sada Hari--but I only got to hear a smidge of it in the car. I know, I know, I can listen to it *inside* my house. Yes, it's true. But actually turning it off to bring it inside was painful. It is just so good.

Between Kish's flute playing and Rasika's chanting (along with all the other awesome musicians' contributions)--I am ready to just merge into the Holy Name. At least that's what I think when I feel my physical form melting away listening to this cd. I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE RASIKA!!!!

Honestly, the feeling I got when driving home from dropping the kids listening to Rasika's bhajana bhakti was that I am just so fortunate to live in a town in which actual demigods and demigoddesses reside.

Radhastami Noon Aroti

2008-09-12T11:15:00.000-04:00

The NRRS (gurukula) did a really special thing for the noon aroti. Krishna-priya and her beautiful mother-in-law organized "Roses for Radharani." In exchange for a small donation (school fundraiser!), the children were given long stem roses to offer to Srimati Radharani on the altar at the Radhastami noon aroti. In my kids' preschool class, they also made cards for Sri Radha.

At noon all the children collected their roses and then walked in a single line over to the temple room, where they offered their roses and then placed them in a vase on the altar. Once all the children offered their roses, the altar looked like a real party. Mother Hari-puja's amazing tiki-flute themed decorations attested to her heart-felt devotion as a pujari. And the kids' loosely assembled vase and cards strewn about the altar made the scene feel like Radharani was having a good time. You know how it is at a big affair--everything starts out picture perfect and the guest are all in awe of the fine arrangements. And then people start to cut loose and things get a little wild. Well, at this point in the day, it was only the altar that was a little wild.

enjoying maha-prasad before the amazing feast

In the evening the kirtan was loud and Radharani focused. Devotees danced like madmen in a temple room hotter than any Bikram yoga studio. Cake and ice cream were served outside to the sound of the kirtan and when the fireworks started going off without any warning, all the kids abandoned their plates and ran over to be right under the exploding lights. It wasn't until late, late into the nite, when the fireworks were finished, that the kirtan party left the temple room and headed outside, mrdgangas pounding, kartals clanging. When we got to our car we could still hear the kirtan. There was a burst of lite in the sky. Someone had found more fireworks. And Krishna's flute, incarnated as the mrdanga drum, serenaded the stars under a canopy of shooting lite, set off for the pleasure of Srimati Radharani.

Radharani's Birthday Bash...Continued

2008-09-12T07:52:00.000-04:00

Radharani's Appearance Day was so wonderfully exhausting, I've just gotten to uploading the rest of the pictures onto my computer now.

My husband and I are so happy we've moved to Alachua. Our only regret is that we didn't move here sooner. Although it seems as though we are more engrossed in material affairs (hopefully this is just part of the transition period of moving), our kids have greatly increased their sravanam kirtanam.

At school they are graced by the katha of guest speaker (and Kinnara's grandpa) Deena Bhandu Prabhu (ummm...can I go to pre-school?). Festival days are filled with amazing kirtans and dramas and dance.

Look at the amazing birthday card Jaya Gopal Prabhu painted for Sri Radha! Jaya Gopal is a professional painter and for Radharani he decided to airbrush her beautiful form on a larger than life card. He would have liked to have done more, but he had to go to work in the afternoon. Other devotees helped finished up and everyone signed a birthday wish for Radharani.

People

2008-09-07T22:28:00.000-04:00

More Abhiseka

2008-09-07T22:04:00.000-04:00

Abhiseka

2008-09-07T17:32:00.000-04:00

Radhastami, Alachua 2008

2008-09-07T15:38:00.000-04:00

Perverted Reflection

2008-09-05T15:41:00.000-04:00

Materially speaking, Alachua is very similar to Vrindavan. There is humidity, mosquitos and sand. Spiritually speaking, there is a beautiful temple housing Sri Sri Radha Syamasundar, melodious kirtans and devotees just about everywhere you go.

Today as I was out for a run, I came across a street sign, which made me simultaneously laugh out loud and remember that Alachua is very, very far from Vrindavan.

Here is a picture of the graffiti in Vrindavan. I think this picture was taken by Akincana Prabhu. Radhe! Radhe!

Here is a picture of the street sign I saw today. It says "Hoe" with an arrow pointing to the name "Sita."

See, Alachua is like Vrindavan, but not Vrindavan.

Dhriti's Chocolate Cakes (as approved by the GBC)

2008-09-02T07:36:00.001-04:00

There are so many talented devotees around the world cooking up all kinds of stuff for Krishna and His devotees. Dhriti Mataji from New Govardhana recently shared with me this beautiful shot of birthday cakes she whipped up for some kiddies. I'm sure the adults enjoyed them, too.

And look! Lots of berries!!!!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

2008-09-02T07:32:00.000-04:00

Here's my school girl, Madhumati. A fashion sense like this cannot be taught. It must be genetic.

Janardana's Feast

2008-09-01T22:47:00.000-04:00

Mother Sri Vrindavan and Varacita Mataji chillin' in the kitchen.

Salad. As if you didn't know that.

Ummmm. I think these pictures are pretty self explanatory.

But just in case you are thinking to yourself, "Yes, biscuits"-- no, cookies.

Janardana and his carrot birthday cake.

Today we attended Janardana's 8th birthday party. Mother Varacita, the Austrian baker/cookie artiste extraordinaire, invited me and the kids to the par-tay. I was pretty happy when we arrived and saw some of my favorite people there.

My son was pretty mortified that I brought vanilla sugar and sausage as the boy's birthday gift. Tomorrow I am headed out to the store to pick up some Hot Wheels! What was I thinking? I mean, how many Hot Wheels! do you think this kid already has? Vanilla sugar and sausage--now that seemed like an original gift to me.

Mother Mayapur Malini, Mother Syama and her pure devotee daughter, Nistha.

I am convinced that what the world needs more of is French Canadians.

Gaura Nitai in the Mood of Cowherd Boys

2008-09-01T09:17:00.000-04:00

Today I am going to work on getting my upstairs kitchen in working order. And part of that means putting up some inspirational devotional pictures. This morning I dug out this picture of Sri Sri Gaura Nitai from Towaco Temple. I took it 11 years ago on Balarama's Appearance Day.

Sri Sri Gaura Nitai are from Jaipur and have totally dreamy eyes and lips. Lord Nityananda is kind of looking upwards, like he is lost in thought of Lord Caitanya (or at least that's how I always took the expression). Sashi Bhushan was Their pujari at the time and although I am not quite sure what he is doing these days, then he was completely dedicated to offering Gaura Nitai his heart and soul.

Sashi did every service imaginable for Them, including sewing Their outfits and dressing Them. Gaura Nitai sometimes wore dhotis, but mostly They were dressed in the fullest dancing skirts and most flowing chaddars I have ever seen on Gaura Nitai deities. Often Gaura Nitai are dressed in a sort of static, frozen mood--their skirts arranged in what I call the pressed pata tradition--looking like They are wearing dried leaves. But Sri Sri Gaura Nitai in Towaco were always full of movement and life, embodying the bliss of the sankirtan movement.

For Balarama's Appearance Day, Sashi took an old outfit and altered it to make Them look more like Krishna and Balarama. My favorite detail was the topknots. Gaura Nitai without Their crowns or turbans is definitely a special darsan.

These were the first Deities I did service for, in the way of menial kitchen labor. Pot washing, floor mopping and vegetable cutting were my tasks. And Sashi's seva was the first and boldest example I had witnessed of a devotee exceeding normal human capacity to serve the Lord. Hopefully looking at this picture will keep me focused and inspired on all those late night pot washing sessions I have ahead of me.

Wake-up Snarl

2008-08-31T09:16:00.001-04:00

This morning I went for my usual run out by Snob Hill. The other day I noticed a feral pit bull behind a fence, and although it barked it's freakin' head off, it just ran along the fence hating me. Today, as I passed a house that I actually looked at when looking to buy, a black chow started freaking out at me. Quickly I saw that it was tied up and exhaled a pant of relief.

You see, I hate dogs. I really, really hate big dogs (which to me, big starts at medium). I fear their slobbery, gruesome mouths and unpredictable nature which I read about in newspapers. Pitbulls mauling swing seats and little children. Freaky. When I was engaged to Festino, he had an overgrown husky named Princess who was a bit jealous of me. She sunk her teeth into me one evening, and although the puncture I suffered ranked low on the dog mauling scale, my feelings towards these so-called domesticated beasts changed forever.

So anyway, I did the first stretch of my run, past the pitbull house with no incident, looped around and was on my way home. I have no idea what I was thinking about, but let me tell you, I swear to never think about it again. I heard this terrible barking and turned to see that the pitbull house's gate was wide open. And the pitbull was totally charging me, teeth snarling. My eyes opened wide and my heart sank. I really felt like intense pain was about to come my way. Forget natural childbirth. This would be the real deal.

It' August in Florida so I was running with a bare mid-riff and I really couldn't handle watching this beast sink it's jaws into my exposed flesh. Immediately I screamed, "Whaaaaa!" I was beyond scared and freaked out. I turned away as the dog got really, really, REALLY close and screamed out in the loudest, most primal yelp I could muster, "Krishna! Please help me Krishna!!!" And with the utterance of the Lord's transcen-freakin'-dental name, this crazy dog went back inside the fenced yard, running back and forth barking at me.

My wavering faith in Krishna was fully re-affirmed.

I stood there a few seconds, unsure what to do. Was this dog going to charge me again? Thankfully, it didn't. I waited for someone to come outside apologizing to me for having their dog scare the crap out of me, but that didn't happen either. I slowly walked away and when I got a few houses down began my run again. I ran all the way home, not checking my watch, not thinking about how boring running is. Nothing. Just totally freaked out and thinking how Krishna is my best friend.

As soon as I got home I told my husband and kids. I knew my son would love this story and I was right. I know I will have to tell it over and over again during the next few months. My husband was pretty impressed by God's grace. I asked him if he thought the dog was trained to just come out and freak out people and he said he didn't think so. But he did say that often they just like to scare people. Nevertheless, this was a full on pitbull and whatever the reason for this dog not mauling me, I am more than happy to give Krishna His due credit.

And I am so happy I was able to call out to Krishna during this dog freak out. It is a real fear of mine--going voiceless in the face of terror. When I was 19, I went to see Like Water for Chocolate at Dupont Circle in DC with my friend Emily. As we were walking back to our car, which was parked towards Adams Morgan, two huge guys attacked us with bricks, impaling me in the back of the head and completely bashing one side of Emily's face. She looked horrible and neither of us were sure if her eye was still in her head (it was). As it happened the world went quiet and slow motion on me. I remember the stunned face of a gayish looking man pedaling by on his bicycle. I remember the drugged out look in the attackers eyes, stealth and wild. And I remember loosing my voice--opening my mouth to scream and only the mousiest sound coming forth.

"Whaaaa! Krishna, please help me Krishna!!!!"

Not only did He turn that dog away but he gave me the ability to call out to Him. God is so good.

Vaisya Me

2008-08-30T23:18:00.000-04:00

The Double Header

2008-08-28T18:47:00.000-04:00

Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara on Janmastami

Srila Prabhupada on his swan carrier.

And if you thought They looked good on Janmastami, check out Radhe Syam on Vyasa Puja.

This Just In

2008-08-28T08:30:00.000-04:00

Here is a family photo from Gita Nagari Ratha Yatra which I just lifted off of Kiriti's blog --a blog which no longer allows comments (boo hiss). My husband's smile is real, since he was doing seva steering the cart. Mine is totally contrived, since I just lugged two hot and tired kids up Govardhana Hill to sit in the dry, prickly grass as the sun beat down on our heads. Oh, did I mention we had no water (just ran out when we got to the water station). And no balloons. Apparently, for my kids, the balloon shortage was a life threatening emergency.